shaken grace?

What happens when your grace gets shaken, when confidence is nowhere to be found? What happens when you look at God and ask why? What happens when you can't fall on your face anymore? What happens when approaching the throne seems pointless?

Mike Cope compared it to child bearing with something at the end far greater than now. Paul says it is but a light affliction in comparison. I just feel like it is a rut. What do you think it is? I'll pray for you if you pray for me...just kidding, I'll be praying for anyone who can relate to that feeling of "what can I do, I suck".

A Quickie or short post...

Bad drivers tick me off. And so do people who say, "My luck I'd be the one that _____(insert:some ridiculous thing that wouldn't happen in a million years to anyone, let alone the self absorbed person saying it.)" I also hate when I have a screw driver and the screw keeps slipping or moving making it impossible to get the thing started. I really can't stand when you move something so it won't fall, and you don't move it quite far enough, causing it to fall none the less. I can't stand at churches when we ask people to stand up. Then clap for them for helping with something. (It sounds bad but a lot of people believe that your right hand shouldn't know what your left hand is doing. And I think it puts people in an awkward situation and if they knew you were going to do that they probably wouldn't have stood up.) I get real mad at cliche Christian, sayings! I believe in a God of Wonder beyond all majesty and we try to some him up in a catch phrase. AHHHH.

All these things, no matter how in the right I am and how much you may agree with me, are foot holds for a graceless bitterness that makes God seem cheap and confined to a box.( I hate so much to see him in a box). God forgive us for only giving circumstantial grace rather than, the "continually cleansing" grace that you have offered us.

A Train Whistles Just Like Before...

The night's still and most are tucked away,
When it falls to the ending of a day.

Hoping and praying it passes through without a sound,
knowing it always tries to stay in town.

the same old sound, a memory can't repay
I heard it long ago and not so far a yesterday

It sheds its sound to all who hear.
most of which come with fear.

It isn't hope that makes it ill,
but anticipation in the still

So hearing things that've gone before
remind us now of hope ignored.

the light comes and the sound fades
but we've all known less days

To sing his praise and ask of him
to show us now what might have been.

And as he says so many times
It's not to know for any mind.

but a promise of whats to come
a father a spirit and the son.

Return with a different call
For one to answer, every, all.


a poem I found, I usually don't like rhyming stuff.

Tattoo Theology

A lot of people have tattoos now a days. They aren't as "alternative" as they use to be. I attribute it to the "Rockstar Mentality" that has swept America and the WORLD(that was said in a movie voice-over voice) I love tattoos, bad ones make me laugh and good ones are truly works of art. I'm not a fan of barbwire or cartoon characters, but realize for some people it works.
I don't prescribe to the "it has to be meaningful philosophy", nor do I think it is a good Idea to randomly get tatted-up. Here are few that I like, more for artistic reasons but none the less, I like them.

I want to get one like the "Tree of Life".
























I'm not into spiders but this might be the best Tattoo ever. It is so realistic.

















And I love the dimensional detail in this Trinity Symbol!















Obviously I don't understand people prescribing to the Levitical law against tattooing. Unless they still follow that diet or clean themselves regularly according to the same guidelines. We need to quit judging people on appearance.(I know I do) I write off people who wear "frat straps" or "croakies," I judge people who I feel aren't as "progressive spiritually" as I am, or dismiss those who don't educate themselves politically. My friends can tell you there are many more shallow examples of my judging the general population. Getting to know people is so much more fun than judging them. Allowing people to be who they are is something more than allowing a behavior or an appearance. It is providing an environment in which they feel safe express themselves. There is a lot of imperfection out there, that flows well below skin deep. A tattoo to me says, "there was a point in my life where I was here, and I chose to remember it this way."

So if I get the guts to get my tattoo one day, feel free to judge, but let me know in a loving way of your disapproval.

how to blog...with a boring life

Here is the deal... I'm not in Europe any more. I'm not having kids right now and I don't have anything to write about that is related to me. But all the good blogs don't really use I and me, however they keep posting. Most great speakers don't have to say I and me to get across a personal message. In fact it is quite the opposite. So before you get board, we'll get going.

We've all had days like this. You can't escape them. The question at hand is " Was this kid trying to take a bath or go Number 2?". If you look at the picture, the bath tub is full of junk. The other question is how did this event transpire. I find it hard to believe the kid was smiling on the toilet and then right before mom pressed the button, he switched to a terror stricken helpless cry. What kind of parent doesn't run to this kid to help...AND there is a good chance mom or dad ran to get the camera when they saw what happened. Either way...you gotta feel bad for him.

Regardless how it went down this kid has been somewhat immortalized by an event, that more than likely was beyond his control. AND this picture while traveling the Internet will probably resurface when junior here is a late teen trying to be cool in front of his girlfriend who is meeting his parents for the first time. AND his face will turn as RED as it is in the picture.

The thing is God sees us, as we are. He shares his love when we are in the toilet, having one of those days, or wondering why me. My wife's favorite verse is in 2nd Corinthians. It says...

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I think it's applicable

Life back at home...

We are back in town and in our own beds, almost on our own time zone. Today was work and the life that we left behind for two weeks was prevalent. It isn't the daily life that you leave behind that you miss; it is you own bed. The peace of knowing that your pillows are yours and not 8 other peoples. Today was weird and I'll be honest, a little like the first day of school. Not as intense as a new school, but more like the school you've been going to for awhile but none the less it is the first day after a summer of newness. I feel like a different person, I don't exactly know what has changed or if it is permanent. Erin and I are closer which inadvertently changes my day. But I think some other things are going on as well.

I'm back to loving Football, watching the Chargers on the computer, and wishing the Hogs weren't on TV so it wouldn't be so embarrassing to be a fan. These are all things that haven't changed. A new perspective is being formed however...I don't know what it is but I'm waiting. I'm not sure my priorities are in place. My frustrations come from a lack fantasy football success or a rough day at work.

I thought about a friend who sent me a facebook message recently. I thought about his perspective. He lost his son recently and walks around everyday with that. Erin told me just a few minutes ago of a couple we know whose son has three wholes in his heart and they don't think they can do surgery on him till he is 22yrs old, he's less 6mths old. And they walk around with that. My dad and mom take care of my Grandmother who from day to day can't tell you where she is. Walking around with that all day...sheeww. It makes my frustrations small. If we are to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice, then why am I looking at my belly button all the time. My God is bigger than all their problems and bigger than my mine as well. But if we are to walk as those who have hope; mourning with those who mourn means being relevant in their lives. I'm not saying getting sad and depressed; I'm saying take a genuine interest in the lives of those around us. Even those closest to us.

I heard a song to today that said "give me your eyes so I see the hurting as you do God. Give me your arms...give me your hands" There is a body and there is those outside of the body and all know what it is like to be lost. There are those with no hope and those who can't see it because the world is to big and to rough to give us a glimpse of what we know is true. So there are people all around who need the grace that we have experienced. And if you haven't experienced that grace there is comfort for you in Jesus. So don't pine at the world for it leaves hope up to circumstance. The God that I know leaves hope up to himself and shares it freely by pouring out his grace on us generously and continually. What is truly amazing to me is the God who deals with the big problems in my eyes is the same God who takes my bad day as hard as I did. That the God of the universe cares about by frustrations and my insecurities. "You are Glorious and I am Yours" that is something that we can all say to God that truly cares.

Interlaken...Awe Goodness

We left Bern after around 10 or so to get to Interlaken, my part of the trip. Don't get me wrong I love art and history and the culture of Italy and Greece. And I miss Greece often, however I hold to my words "Switzerland is what I would go back for..." It is beautiful. God is evident in the mountains, the water, the lakes, the water falls, Absolutely Amazing. 

Now Erin had some apprehension about the cold. If you don't know Erin, let me explain. Warm=Good! Cold=Terrible, Awful, Bad, Pain, Yuck, and Hate. She hates it.  My Erin is a trooper but after a night in Bern in almost freezing weather and a fairly cold Venice, she had decided canyoning was not going to be our thing. It was going to be my thing. That being said we got to Interlaken(the prettiest place in the world) and she warmed up to it along with the weather. After talking to a few people( and by that i mean girls who had gone) she decided to stick it out. That A Girl Erin! So it was off to the Swiss Alps for 30ft jumps, 20ft rockslides, 30ft repels, and waterfall repelling.

Our helmets have names on them so guides don't have to learn your name. Mine was "Duck" and Erin's was "Paris". So Duck and Paris met up with some Mississippi Boys and we headed up for a great time. Erin held her nose every time she jumped but came up out of the ice cold water with a smile. The girl was rocking out the canyoning. I on the other hand while haveing a blast was suffering from cold water allergy. My hands swelled and turned red. Everyone in our group was intrigued by how big my hands were getting. I pressed on and finished the trip of a life time with slightly larger hands but memories and experiences with my wonderful wife that I will always cherish.

It is amazing what people are willing to go through. It is also amazing how many people aren't willing to sacrifice, help, or even make an effort for others. So when you find someone who will or if you can be that person for someone take the opportunity. We all had fun canyoning and cheering and laughing for each other, but it meant a whole lot that Erin was willing to face a few fears for me. The whole trip was like that, we learned to help, sacrifice, and make an effort for each other. And I'll be honest, not even counting the memories, I love my wife more just for those little efforts and comforts along the way.