In the rack...

I heard a few great stories the other day. Here is one...

My friend, who I won't name, had been caught up in the wrong crowd since the age of 13. He slowly became more and more consumed with people's approval and being accepted. It eventually effected, his adult life, his job, his wife, and those closest to him.

He went jail for a little while or as he called it "the rack." There he learned that trusting the wrong people to accept you could have dangerous consequences. He eventually felt isolated in his cell. He felt like no one could help him. At night he would toss and turn, with his heart physically aching, almost like a panic attack. Sweating and fearing for his life...

One night it got to be more than he could bare. He wrestled emotionally and physically in pain and fear. Finally, out of desperation he said "God you are going to have do something, you are the only one who I can turn to I need you." As he finished his desperate prayer, he said it was like God took his physical hands and reached down massaging his heart.

His heartbeat calmed, the sweat subsided, the fear became peace, and the pain became comfort. He had a full experience with God, emotionally, physically and mentally. He had felt God, change his life.

He was Redeemed...

Thanksgiving Hugs

I'm really not into themed post, but seeing as this is more of a journal of personal thoughts, I guess that is just another contradiction in my life.

We had thanksgiving with family. Not my immediate family but my wife's family. It great to be with them. It is such a bigger family then I'm accustomed too. We only had like 25 people this year and they acted like the house was empty.

It is funny because I'm at the point with Erin's family where I have been accepted. They know what I do for a living. They know who I root for in sports. They know I'm not a country boy like most of them. But what they don't know is whether or not to hug me. I'll be honest I'm a hugger. I go in for the real deal every chance I get. It never fails that I guess wrong too. Some people I'm not sure like hugs so I try to be respectful, but I would hug a random stranger if they'd let me. With Erin's family though I feel accepted and loved I'm still shakey on hugging status.

It is amazing to me that the church often works the same way. We do a great job of helping and knowing a few facts about people. We might even share a meal with people. But there is always a "hugging status" that we don't want to infringe upon. And then there are some people like from the town I'm from who come in hugging like junkies looking for hugs from who ever will awkwardly suffer through the experience.

I believe the ability to know when to give "hugs" comes from the spirit. I had a friend tell me we don't tap into that enough. I agree. What if we looked at people and ask God's spirit to give us a message for a certain relationship. What if we tapped into the light that needed to be shined on a person at that very moment of "to hug or not to hug." I love that Erin's family and church didn't give a prerequisite to joining the family except to come through the Father.

This might be a little more metaphorical than needed to be, but the holidays will do that to yah. I would like to look at people as an opportunity for the spirit to work and move and breathe.

God's Kingdom

Well the other night while my wife was here. I planned on making this profound political statement about how we need to re-think our yelling and haughty ways and revisit 1st Peter 2. It was going to talk about how the end all isn't coming if your guy doesn't get elected and that a lot of people feel like there isn't a moral candidate and they shouldn't be criticized for not voting. I was going to follow it up with a nice comment about how voting on one issue is still supporting the entire agenda of candidate.

And last but not least conclude with, "no matter who gets elected, it can't be as bad as Nero(emperor that burned Christians and others at the stake for fun). And God reminded them then, like he remind the religious leaders and zealots of his day that God's kingdom is not here on earth and if it was everyone would know. To sum it up with a contemplative phrase I would have put something like this..."How bout rather than yelling and screaming about the right choice; we be "as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves" or "humble and gentle bearing with one another in love" OR better yet like the man who "though hurled insults at him, tore his clothes, and spit on him and beat him, he said nothing"

Satan uses half truths and I feel, we fell for another one politically. "1Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind." (just cuz it's true doesn't make it less slanderous) Both sides get caught up in this venomous and angry arguing and last time I checked that verse ends with "of any kind."(small or large/true or untrue) As the Church and I mean that for all Christians not just a particular denomination, we have to give up this sense of entitlement. It is killing our country and it is killing our families. And it is killing our church.

So since my wife isn't here to proof this...I apologize ahead of time. and if you didn't like what I wrote then read these articles...I had these thoughts before I read them, but they say somethings that at least makes you think about things, even if you don't agree with them.

http://www.thetowntalk.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/200811060245/OPINION/811060307 and this one http://www.patrolmag.com/times/922/how-shall-we-then-vote

shaken grace?

What happens when your grace gets shaken, when confidence is nowhere to be found? What happens when you look at God and ask why? What happens when you can't fall on your face anymore? What happens when approaching the throne seems pointless?

Mike Cope compared it to child bearing with something at the end far greater than now. Paul says it is but a light affliction in comparison. I just feel like it is a rut. What do you think it is? I'll pray for you if you pray for me...just kidding, I'll be praying for anyone who can relate to that feeling of "what can I do, I suck".

A Quickie or short post...

Bad drivers tick me off. And so do people who say, "My luck I'd be the one that _____(insert:some ridiculous thing that wouldn't happen in a million years to anyone, let alone the self absorbed person saying it.)" I also hate when I have a screw driver and the screw keeps slipping or moving making it impossible to get the thing started. I really can't stand when you move something so it won't fall, and you don't move it quite far enough, causing it to fall none the less. I can't stand at churches when we ask people to stand up. Then clap for them for helping with something. (It sounds bad but a lot of people believe that your right hand shouldn't know what your left hand is doing. And I think it puts people in an awkward situation and if they knew you were going to do that they probably wouldn't have stood up.) I get real mad at cliche Christian, sayings! I believe in a God of Wonder beyond all majesty and we try to some him up in a catch phrase. AHHHH.

All these things, no matter how in the right I am and how much you may agree with me, are foot holds for a graceless bitterness that makes God seem cheap and confined to a box.( I hate so much to see him in a box). God forgive us for only giving circumstantial grace rather than, the "continually cleansing" grace that you have offered us.

A Train Whistles Just Like Before...

The night's still and most are tucked away,
When it falls to the ending of a day.

Hoping and praying it passes through without a sound,
knowing it always tries to stay in town.

the same old sound, a memory can't repay
I heard it long ago and not so far a yesterday

It sheds its sound to all who hear.
most of which come with fear.

It isn't hope that makes it ill,
but anticipation in the still

So hearing things that've gone before
remind us now of hope ignored.

the light comes and the sound fades
but we've all known less days

To sing his praise and ask of him
to show us now what might have been.

And as he says so many times
It's not to know for any mind.

but a promise of whats to come
a father a spirit and the son.

Return with a different call
For one to answer, every, all.


a poem I found, I usually don't like rhyming stuff.

Tattoo Theology

A lot of people have tattoos now a days. They aren't as "alternative" as they use to be. I attribute it to the "Rockstar Mentality" that has swept America and the WORLD(that was said in a movie voice-over voice) I love tattoos, bad ones make me laugh and good ones are truly works of art. I'm not a fan of barbwire or cartoon characters, but realize for some people it works.
I don't prescribe to the "it has to be meaningful philosophy", nor do I think it is a good Idea to randomly get tatted-up. Here are few that I like, more for artistic reasons but none the less, I like them.

I want to get one like the "Tree of Life".
























I'm not into spiders but this might be the best Tattoo ever. It is so realistic.

















And I love the dimensional detail in this Trinity Symbol!















Obviously I don't understand people prescribing to the Levitical law against tattooing. Unless they still follow that diet or clean themselves regularly according to the same guidelines. We need to quit judging people on appearance.(I know I do) I write off people who wear "frat straps" or "croakies," I judge people who I feel aren't as "progressive spiritually" as I am, or dismiss those who don't educate themselves politically. My friends can tell you there are many more shallow examples of my judging the general population. Getting to know people is so much more fun than judging them. Allowing people to be who they are is something more than allowing a behavior or an appearance. It is providing an environment in which they feel safe express themselves. There is a lot of imperfection out there, that flows well below skin deep. A tattoo to me says, "there was a point in my life where I was here, and I chose to remember it this way."

So if I get the guts to get my tattoo one day, feel free to judge, but let me know in a loving way of your disapproval.

how to blog...with a boring life

Here is the deal... I'm not in Europe any more. I'm not having kids right now and I don't have anything to write about that is related to me. But all the good blogs don't really use I and me, however they keep posting. Most great speakers don't have to say I and me to get across a personal message. In fact it is quite the opposite. So before you get board, we'll get going.

We've all had days like this. You can't escape them. The question at hand is " Was this kid trying to take a bath or go Number 2?". If you look at the picture, the bath tub is full of junk. The other question is how did this event transpire. I find it hard to believe the kid was smiling on the toilet and then right before mom pressed the button, he switched to a terror stricken helpless cry. What kind of parent doesn't run to this kid to help...AND there is a good chance mom or dad ran to get the camera when they saw what happened. Either way...you gotta feel bad for him.

Regardless how it went down this kid has been somewhat immortalized by an event, that more than likely was beyond his control. AND this picture while traveling the Internet will probably resurface when junior here is a late teen trying to be cool in front of his girlfriend who is meeting his parents for the first time. AND his face will turn as RED as it is in the picture.

The thing is God sees us, as we are. He shares his love when we are in the toilet, having one of those days, or wondering why me. My wife's favorite verse is in 2nd Corinthians. It says...

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I think it's applicable

Life back at home...

We are back in town and in our own beds, almost on our own time zone. Today was work and the life that we left behind for two weeks was prevalent. It isn't the daily life that you leave behind that you miss; it is you own bed. The peace of knowing that your pillows are yours and not 8 other peoples. Today was weird and I'll be honest, a little like the first day of school. Not as intense as a new school, but more like the school you've been going to for awhile but none the less it is the first day after a summer of newness. I feel like a different person, I don't exactly know what has changed or if it is permanent. Erin and I are closer which inadvertently changes my day. But I think some other things are going on as well.

I'm back to loving Football, watching the Chargers on the computer, and wishing the Hogs weren't on TV so it wouldn't be so embarrassing to be a fan. These are all things that haven't changed. A new perspective is being formed however...I don't know what it is but I'm waiting. I'm not sure my priorities are in place. My frustrations come from a lack fantasy football success or a rough day at work.

I thought about a friend who sent me a facebook message recently. I thought about his perspective. He lost his son recently and walks around everyday with that. Erin told me just a few minutes ago of a couple we know whose son has three wholes in his heart and they don't think they can do surgery on him till he is 22yrs old, he's less 6mths old. And they walk around with that. My dad and mom take care of my Grandmother who from day to day can't tell you where she is. Walking around with that all day...sheeww. It makes my frustrations small. If we are to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice, then why am I looking at my belly button all the time. My God is bigger than all their problems and bigger than my mine as well. But if we are to walk as those who have hope; mourning with those who mourn means being relevant in their lives. I'm not saying getting sad and depressed; I'm saying take a genuine interest in the lives of those around us. Even those closest to us.

I heard a song to today that said "give me your eyes so I see the hurting as you do God. Give me your arms...give me your hands" There is a body and there is those outside of the body and all know what it is like to be lost. There are those with no hope and those who can't see it because the world is to big and to rough to give us a glimpse of what we know is true. So there are people all around who need the grace that we have experienced. And if you haven't experienced that grace there is comfort for you in Jesus. So don't pine at the world for it leaves hope up to circumstance. The God that I know leaves hope up to himself and shares it freely by pouring out his grace on us generously and continually. What is truly amazing to me is the God who deals with the big problems in my eyes is the same God who takes my bad day as hard as I did. That the God of the universe cares about by frustrations and my insecurities. "You are Glorious and I am Yours" that is something that we can all say to God that truly cares.

Interlaken...Awe Goodness

We left Bern after around 10 or so to get to Interlaken, my part of the trip. Don't get me wrong I love art and history and the culture of Italy and Greece. And I miss Greece often, however I hold to my words "Switzerland is what I would go back for..." It is beautiful. God is evident in the mountains, the water, the lakes, the water falls, Absolutely Amazing. 

Now Erin had some apprehension about the cold. If you don't know Erin, let me explain. Warm=Good! Cold=Terrible, Awful, Bad, Pain, Yuck, and Hate. She hates it.  My Erin is a trooper but after a night in Bern in almost freezing weather and a fairly cold Venice, she had decided canyoning was not going to be our thing. It was going to be my thing. That being said we got to Interlaken(the prettiest place in the world) and she warmed up to it along with the weather. After talking to a few people( and by that i mean girls who had gone) she decided to stick it out. That A Girl Erin! So it was off to the Swiss Alps for 30ft jumps, 20ft rockslides, 30ft repels, and waterfall repelling.

Our helmets have names on them so guides don't have to learn your name. Mine was "Duck" and Erin's was "Paris". So Duck and Paris met up with some Mississippi Boys and we headed up for a great time. Erin held her nose every time she jumped but came up out of the ice cold water with a smile. The girl was rocking out the canyoning. I on the other hand while haveing a blast was suffering from cold water allergy. My hands swelled and turned red. Everyone in our group was intrigued by how big my hands were getting. I pressed on and finished the trip of a life time with slightly larger hands but memories and experiences with my wonderful wife that I will always cherish.

It is amazing what people are willing to go through. It is also amazing how many people aren't willing to sacrifice, help, or even make an effort for others. So when you find someone who will or if you can be that person for someone take the opportunity. We all had fun canyoning and cheering and laughing for each other, but it meant a whole lot that Erin was willing to face a few fears for me. The whole trip was like that, we learned to help, sacrifice, and make an effort for each other. And I'll be honest, not even counting the memories, I love my wife more just for those little efforts and comforts along the way.

A Firenzie change of pace

All right, we made it... to Florence that is. I love this town it is better than I remembered. We have seen a lot so far and at a very fast pace, so when we got to Florence we decided to sleep in. Sleeping in goes against everything I am when it comes to vacation...wait that is not true at all. Sleeping in makes Erin feel bad it make me feel good. However, we did sleep in and adopted the laid back attitude of the city around us. God has really shown Erin and I that life comes at different paces for everyone. Day to day and person to person, time waits for no-one... we learned that from some sarcastic monks in Rome, no bones about it.

But resting and peace seem to go against that most of the time. We all need to take time to soak up our surroundings, the people around us, and the grace that we've been blessed with. This town moves at a lot of paces one being the Italian pace wake up late and stay up late, the guided group pace- wake up early and move slowly through the city as unit that is impenetrable and impossible to get around soaking up and over paying for everything- and then the back packer pace that is somewhere in between soaking up the moments, sleeping late, taking naps, and displaying too much public affection.

We got to take our pace into the church next door to hear an orchestra/symphony(someone with more knowledge can tell me the difference) until 1030 at night. It was amazing. I didn't nod off or anything. In fact maturity led me to believe I enjoyed. I sat and watched them play and then I would watch Erin watching...that makes me enjoy things so much more. The last piece was riveting we sat and watched waiting for the next surge in musical intensity only to be quietly taken back by the soft flutes and violin. I never would have thought I'd be watching my wife and I enjoy a musical performance miles away from home. It was the perfect ending to an almost perfect day. Sometimes a change of pace, or an experience that isn't typically yours can be quite effective on your life journey. I shared with Erin in her passion and love for music and found a different part of myself and she has become quite the traveler due to a impulsive husband... I say that to say whether changing pace or sharing in someone else's life gets you to grow or see God's world differently I say try it....

From the Vatican to the What the...

After a Morning of amazement and art history that rocked the world of a girl from Walnut Hill Florida and boy from Monroe La to a St Peter's were the extravagant religious display exceeded our understanding. While the Old testament temple was built to honor God with his glory and extravagance, St Peter's didn't quite ring true for us. It is beautiful and worthy of its prestige; however it seems to speak of the works man. Did Peter really think that centuries later people would be rubbing his toes off in order to get a prayer answered. I think not . Peter would want to step out of the way of the cross that allows grace to flow freely for everyone. I kept thinking about Paul's words "his power is made perfect in my weakness... so for Christ sake I will boast my weakness." I know that God Wants our best and the monuments are great and the excellence is without question, but my gut just felt unsure. I thought of "don't let left hand know what the right is doing..." I say that to say this I spent most of St Peter's listening to casting crowns seeing that God was bigger than our vein efforts to make it about more than his love. I've been all over this amazing city and the magnitude of it humbles me greatly. But Erin and I have realized that God is God even in St Peters, even in the begger without an arm, the Pagan art work, the city of greatness, and the hostel full of crazy youth finding themselves. He isn't bound by our comprehension. He walked this earth and shattered our expectations with incomprehensible grace and love. Our love is growing for each other and the people that God loves. HE is our existence and the amazement, he alone brings glory to himself. And like on this trip I am happy to be experiencing him in new ways. All things to all people means seeing life not our own as one worth saving. And to that all means neccessary should be taken...letting God's glory be shown while we await our reward in another sacred city.

"
We just spent our first day in Rome and we walked all over the city. It was "AMAZING" to quote my wife's email to her parents. We started with a simple fountain of Triton followed by the spanish steps and the trevi fountain. We were awed by the Pantheon. The architecture alone was so substantial and intriguing. We had lunch on the river and saw a castle or two. But the Capuchin Monk's Crypt was humbling, sobering, scarey and awesome. Quick background, These monks scammed the people into paying for a holy burrial place that they turned into a masterpeice of art. There medium(or materials for you not familiar with art) was the human bones and remains of the people and monks they had been burrying. I don't have to long for thought so I will leave you with the dead monks quote. And see how you respond. In the midst of bone walls, bone decour, and bone chandeliers read a plaque,"What you are we once were; What we are you soon will be..." Mind blowing for our spiritual walk...sobering and humbling, how about you?

From Greece to Rome...

After a few days of beautiful travel Erin and i have landed in Rome. We saw the beautiful Korinthian countryside by bus and ferried from Patra to Italy but not before having a gyro and pita in Greece...More to come tomorrow we stroll the streets of Rome for fountains and memories...that sounded corney. We will be relaxing and discovering the lighter side of Rome.(that wasn,t much better but I haven,t had a lot of sleep) so for now it is Va benne, chow!

Our trip, Our Vacation, and Mission

Ok, here goes Erin said we can't have kids till we go to Europe... I said aight lets go. A year late we are here. The flight was long and the sleep schedule is shook to pieces but I'm good and spirits are high. We just finished our first day in Athens, atop the Acropolis, through the Plaka, up Mar's Hill, throughout the Agora, looking at the Parthenon, and all on a bagel and juice. I have learn two things from traveling with Erin: Small suprizes are better than big ones and I enjoy her enjoyment more than my own experiences. Her being happy, her amazement brings me pure joy.

We sat atop Mars Hill listening to a Great Song(that I think is called "This City") It says "There is know one like our God" and the chorus say" greater thing have yet to come Greater thing are still to be done in this City." All I could think about was Paul standing infront of scholars and philosphers and the governing men of Athens saying " Men of Athens" this unknown God is the God everything, he sent his son, and as great as this city is there is still more to come. What greater things are yet to come. What are you called too? Will God say to you Greater things have yet to come great things are still to be done in you. I'm asking God for courage to be the father and husband he wants me to be. How about you?

the dreaded first post

I am posting my first blog today... This is who I am not what I believe. I'm still working becoming like who I believe in. Sometimes however, it might be what I believe and not who I am because he's still helping me in my unbelief.

I say that vain attempt at a disclaimer to say I'm not above reproach, rebuke, praise or criticism. And by no means do I think contradictions, lack of knowledge, and occasional genius won't pop up in this blog. I'm on a journey as Chris Lindsey said " I hope to look back at these thoughts and laugh realizing I've matured."(I put that in quotes because it is his thought, just not word for word.) So if you need a rambler to travel with who completely and utterly believes that Jesus's Grace is real and continual not based off the last prayer you said, then I welcome the company. If you don't need someone like me then I guess God may cross our paths later and you'll realize what you missed.(I'm just kidding, peace be with you). At the End of the Day, I want us all to be closer to becoming love to the people who need it. Because that is what God is to me.